Dropped a new track, will be on all the streaming services soon, buy it / preview it here: https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/mattalvarado
Inspired by finding my faith in God through a series of hardships. I have an amazing life, through my own faulty ideas I suffered, sometimes unknowingly. I was once a book after book studying member of New Age belief, angry with God, angry with things beyond my control. At the beginning when I rediscovered I could pray, I went to the Missouri River to do so. There’s nothing “magic” about the Missouri River. I just knew that what I was doing wasn’t working and was looking for something new.
It’s hard to summarize in a few paragraphs, and maybe someday I will expand. I have an autoimmune disease and use to have bouts of OCD. I self medicated, meditated, stretched, deep breathed, repeated mantras, burned letters, and released beliefs for over a decade looking for peace.
After a point in time, I went from lost, through the jungle, and back to the beginning of where I once believed in God. I was confused, and no offense to anyone reading this, the Catholicism I was raised on gave me more questions than answers. My conclusion was if I was to know God, just like the New Age, I was relying on people instead of God.
I started reading The Bible, not in a ritualistic action, but as I would any other book. I found it mind blowing how much time I devoted to Allan Watts, Eckhart Tolle, Buddha, The Secret, and the list goes on, and still hadn’t read The Bible. Another way to put it is, I spent more time over the years reading people interpret God, “The Truth”, and answers to how to live and deal with suffering, than I ever spent trying to know God; as a self proclaimed “truth seeker” I was knocked off my pedestal.
I’m not an expert, I’m not more special than anyone else, but I can tell you what I have experienced. If you’re looking for answers, they are in the Bible. It’s not always easy to read, you have to read whole stories to get the context, and stories build upon stories. There are times it seems fantastic, but if you read it and look at the world, you will find truth in it.
One thing I can say with my time in the New Age, is almost everything that ever “worked” is usually a distortion of something God already gave us. There is peace in God the father, and Jesus our Lord and Savior. I hope you have that peace, and if not I encourage you to find it. Read the Bible, discuss what you learn and build a relationship with him. Until I was reborn I was always told I was lucky, I mostly got anything I worked towards and always felt like something was missing when I got it. That something is a relationship with God. They say OCD can’t be cured, but I can tell you it’s been years since I’ve suffered now, anxiety in a sense is a lack of faith in yourself, (something god has given you). As far as my autoimmune disease, it’s there, most days it doesn’t bother me, and sometimes I wonder if it’s a blessing that kept me grounded when I was wilder and younger. I can’t confirm that either way, only God knows that one.